Hitchhikers Guide to Blogging
I discovered this wonderful little piece of audio when I bought the audiobook version of Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. They had this extra bit that defines what blogging is.
But I figured most people don’t have iTunes to go listen to the preview of this track so I took time out of my day to write it out in text format for everyone.
The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy on Blogging
“Blogging: Blogging is the act of regularly updating your website with some hum-drum information about your life or a link to something you just read on the Internet in the mistaken belief that someone actually cares. It is the 21st century equivalent of hanging around railway stations writing pithy but erudite descriptions of the passing trains.
To take part in Blogging or to use the appropriate terminology to join the blogosphere there are a couple of things you need to do. Firstly you will need to increase the size of your ego. Without a swollen ego you simply cannot achieve the levels of solipsism required by a modern blog. This necessary step is often missed by new bloggers. Yet without it you won’t believe that anyone is remotely interested in what you have had for lunch today, how cute your cat mittens is, or whether or not you designed some tedious internet protocol.
In fact Blogging without an oversized ego can actually be dangerous. If you start using words like blogosphere there is a very major possibility that your own major intestines will leap straight up through your neck and throttle your brain in an attempt to preserve civilization.
Fortunately there are various forms of medication to increase the size of your ego many offering a money back guarantee that you’ll be at least twice as obnoxious in four weeks or less. Until you are sufficiently obnoxious you might feel the need to explain or at the very least or at least describe the things you link to.
Experienced bloggers know that they are so important that readers will blindly follow their links. After all a few seconds of one bloggers time is clearly more valuable then all the time spent of people discovering they really didn’t care.
The other thing you should do to become a successful blogger is change your website to use dotted lines and unreadable tiny fonts wherever possible.”
That is awesome….I’ll have to show everyone that little bit of information so that they can all see why I do what I do. I’m just an egotistic fool who likes to let everyone or no one know what I do with my meaningless life. Talk to you soon!
That was fabulous. So true…and a little sad.
Me three… Wait… yeah.
I should get the audio version format up here. It’s a funny listen. I thought it was well worth the 99¢ to download.