City Slickers

One of my favorite movies is City Slickers because it fits in my could happen true to life storeis. I feel a lot like Billy Crystal's Character very Sarcastic tries to poke fun at everyone including himself. He doesn't really get his life and what he is doing. He has what a lot of people want. A great wife. Good Kids. Great Friends. But he sits around and realizes what does he do in life? He sells air time for commercials on a radio station. He sells basically air.

What legacy does the leave him? Nothing really. He seems to have the same thing I get on my birthday. A bit of depression it seems to fall for me on New Years and Birthday's another year of my life is over what have I done? Where am I going? How did I get here? No matter what I try to do for my Birthday it never happens the way I want it to. I have given up asking for anything and have given up getting suprised. My Birthday is May 20th. Here is a basic layout of what I would like. A Giant Steak I am talking like 24oz seasoned right with grilled onions, mashed potato, is what I would like to eat. A cake of somekind anything really Not German Choclate, Carrot, Yellow or White. Maybe something with mint. The only Presents I would like are eitehr my new car to be paid off. heh. A Delphi XM Boombox not the CD player one just the regular old $89-$99 Boombox. A new Car Stereo perhaps a Pioneer. Don't see that happening. Or just something bizarre like a vacation somewhere. Maybe like a week trip to the ocean with a friend or something.

It's that time of year that I just am tired. I never get to do what I want on my Birthday. I never get what I ask for on my Birthday. Last Year I got a crappy bottle of wine a trip to Idaho for my friends Wedding that I had to pay for since Ollie is the worst person with Money ever. And some beef jerky. I got a home cooked meal that I don't really care for since I get that anytime I want it.

I hate planning crap for my Birthday I would just like a smile really to end that birthday on a good note. I just feel a lot like Mitch in City Slickers on my Birthday depressed and not really wanting to deal with it. But I would like to be changed of that.

Most of the time I am open and honest as possible but there are some things I wish I could express but I am afraid of the results of expressing those thoughts. I know if they are taken the way I would like things could be amazing but I just don't feel like I have the balls to hear the word No. Even though life is a series of No's. I just prefer not to hear them. But as they say No Guts no Glory. Perhaps I should just do it. Tomorrow is a new day and we shall see what happens.

I fell like that was a depressing post. I shall end it with a tasteless joke I like to tell. What is the difference between a crack dealer and a hooker? The Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again. With that I say Goodnight.