George Carlin's New Rules for 2006

Grabbed this off one of the Forums I run Moderator only area. Thought it was a good set of rules to follow.

New Rule : Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.


New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout?


New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.


New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man , they're pictures of men.


New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.


New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.


New Rule: The more complicated the Starbuck's order, the bigger the ass hole. If you walk into a Starbuck's and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge ass hole.


New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.


New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.


New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that.
It's called "The Howard Stern Show."


New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&M. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.


New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.


New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.


New Rule: and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.


New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.

The Laptop

Guess what is fixed and back online? ;-)

Many Thanks to Adam and His Wife on a Rainy Afternoon!

Apple - Trailers - An Inconvenient Truth - Trailer

Apple - Trailers - An Inconvenient Truth - Trailer

Okay now I hardley ever hit the BlogThis! Button but seeing this trailer a while ago made me think I forgot to post it. The world seems to be on the edge of destroying ourselves ever since we got that Dumb Fuck in the white house.

I didn't vote for the idiot from Texas. I would vote green party if they had a chance to win and the midwest wasn't around. I would have voted for Al Gore had I been old enough.

The planet will do what it will as a reaction from what we did. I am sure we are close to 7 billion people on the planet wiping out a few hundred million might not be such a bad idea. Natural Selection is gone. Hasn't been a real big war in a while. No major disease that has killed people off in massive numbers. Society is about to crumble as it seems. Gas above $3 a gallon people are trading in valuables to buy gas. I would love to sit outside in my yard with a gun knocking people off that get close to my car to steal gas in the near future.

That time may not be today or tomorrow but it will come. President Clinton was a great presiden he just liked to get sucked off by ugly women may not be the most honest man but I was sure not bitching and was fairly happy when he was around. I could fill up my tank for $10 back then. 97cents a gallon was a damn good deal.

I hope people become enlightened and get a clue and actually educate themselves on something instead of being a fucking lemming and just following the path that is presented.

I will be seeing this movie. But I am a total movie dude and would go see any movie. I even say the horrible Scary Movie 4. But people like that kind of stupid crap. The stupid movie of the year I am looking forward to is Clerks 2 August 18th Movie Trailer (Unrated)

Odd that Post #666 is about a Voicemail From a Girl

Voicemail from a Girl or Girls in Kansas. About Tristan and Isolde (Safe For Work)

Now my guess is that she either ran a search for the movie Tristan and Isolde which I still need to go see. Since it's out on DVD maybe I should go see who has it for under $20 because I doubt it will be worth more then that. If my name is going to be on a product it better be worth $20. Or perhaps she came across my profile on myspace. I have no idea what this was about but I did manage to figure out it was from Kansas. So to whoever called in thanks for the voicemail. It moved me in a way that was odd.

I hope you steal that DVD from your friend Rico and learn to not talk into the phone so loud. That could have been how it worked but I digress. I couldn't really find any use for this on a future podcast so here it is for everyone to listen to in all it's glory of 160kbps MP3.

For those who wish to call in and leave your piece of the world for me to blog or use in a Podcast Intro. Hit up the voicemail.

(206) 973-7886 or you can leave me a voicemail on Skype my handle is Tristan.Mac

The Tag Body Spray Comment

The most common way people have been hitting my site recently is from searches on Google and Yahoo for Tag Body Spray. Odd I know but they come to this link.

http://www.tristanpipo.com/blogger/2005/08/tag-body-spray.html

Some person who is "Anonymous" who gives me the impression of being a woman had this to say.

i don't mind the smell of TAG or AXE body sprays but i HATE those damned commercials... what retarded, desprit man would believe such bull shit.
i hate them! hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE THEM!

for those commercials to be true, that can has to be filled with a highly concentrated pheromone (who's pheromone? probably Chuck Norris')

their latest commercial is that if you're wearing TAG you'll be sooo irresistable that you'll get straight A's cuz your slutty teacher will give you a 90 if you touch her in the fuzzy....rrreeeeeaaaaaaaallly...

the next commercial should be a sexual harrasment law suit where the defendent states that she was a victum cuz the man was wearing TAG.

women respond to sincerity, no woman wants to be charmed by a buffoon
it's revolting when a man attempts to tranform a lady into a common whore...

Now I am a buyer of Tag and Axe Body Spray's myself. I am a corporate whore in the sense that these commercials are funny to me. By no means do I expect a woman to drop her panties on my floor and want to start calling out my name because I payed $4-$5 for a 4oz can of the scent. But a man who smells good will catch a ladies attention.

I get the impression that your message seems to be a bit on the fem-nazi side of things. As any acting experience goes people choose what roles they want to accept. I would imagine that you probably would not fit the type of woman they would want to appear in such a TV advert. This may or may not bother you. But it's all marketing they are trying to sell their product to the 20-30 something age bracket and they do a wonderful job. If these ads did not sell the product the company would not be here.

Sex sells. It sells Axe, Tag, Beer, Computers..etc When I go to the gym and I see whatever hottie working her ass out on the stair climber she is 2-3x hotter for me if she has an iPod. Would be even hotter if she was listening to a Podcast and if she knew what RSS was and watched Rocketboom she would be the perfect woman. But I digress from your comment.

The comment you make where a sexual harrassment about a woman being a "victim" of TAG makes me think what the hell is wrong with that woman. If she is not capable of controlling herself then it's her own fault and she is the victim of being herself. Not of any man or a cologne. People always seek someone or something to blame for themselves being a moron. They do it with religon or politics or their lives.

You sound like a very strong and capable woman who has something against men. And choosing to blame a cologne for the problems in society. Your wallet speaks louder then words. What if I was going to start a rant about how this Tampon commercial talks about woman being superior and amazing because they have curves or can go swimming on a tampon. Could I view that as also being sexist on TV?

Men have such a little claim on TV. I don't know any men who really give a shit who wins American Idol or who can survive in the wild. The shows I watch are on HBO, Showtime and have no adverts of any kind. I would love to hear what you think sometime.

Thanks for the comment. I love when people speak their mind a good debate is always nice.

Post #664 - The Double Whammy Weekend of Update

Well holy shit and hot damn!

Weekends the time where we say screw the working world and do whatever we feel like for Friday Night, Saturday and Sunday! I was overwhelmed with life and forgot to do the weekend Update for a while ago. So lets start with Friday April 14th 2006.

Friday April 14th 2006
Work until 3pm. Gym until 7pm. After that was my friend David's coming home party. We went to a nice little bar and it was pretty empty. The guests were. Myself, David, Hans, Ollie, Preston, Nick, Audrey, Garrett, Garine, Liz, Jason.... That is all I can remember for right now and then Nick's Soon to be Brother in Law and said "Get to Sian Palace it's Karakoe and we are going to rock out" So Nick is like Tristan I am drunk lets get up there. So I drive up there and we get in there and meet 2 fucking awesome dudes. THey buy me a beer the selection was rather limited so I had a Miller. (Ugh Domestic and not Microbrew) And since it's all about the singing I have never tried this experience so I started flipping like a mad man through the book. Me and Garrett decide on Beastie Boys - Fight for your Right to Party. My first experience singin in public and had to be drunk. THen David decides that he wants to buy all the drinks so I am having my classic Gin and Tonic and having an awesome time hanging out with friends and singin. One highlight was that I signed up Nick and Ollie to sing Hanging Tough by New Kids on the Block. Mwa ha ha. Went home and crashed.

Saturday April 15th 2006
Ummm what did I do on that day. Ohhh yeah! Me, Preston, Ollie all went to Mitzels for what they call a hangover breakfast I don't get hangovers (cross my fingers) and they had some huge egg dish. I don't like eggs myself I have my favorite after drinking meal of a Patty Melt. Then we went out to Bremerton and I posted that Hail video a few days later. Then we went to see the horrible Scary Movie 4. It's so bad I fail to describe it any further. Then they went out for Amon's party and I went bowling and did a horrible 53 game and a 99 game. Not my best night.

Sunday April 16th 2006
This was easter not being religous and chosing the athiest path I could give a crap so I decided to go work for the extra cash on Sunday. Came home watched some TV it was a great day.

*Clever Song*

Friday April 21st 2006
Lets see after work I hit the gym. Ummmm what the hell did I do. Class was not in session on Saturday. I must have done something with Ollie. Man I really do not recall anything memorable Friday Night.

Saturday April 22nd 2006
Let's see I went on a day date on Saturday. Went over to Everett and had a nice picnic in the park with a girl we shall for the time being call "B" we shall say that she is a Scorpio and 5'5'' so with that being said. I haven't had a date this good in a long while. It was cool and chill nothing awkward. Things progressed nicely. (How to say some details but be vague at the same time). Then came back and went out with Teresa to go see Thank You For Smoking. That movie is hilarious. I love the line "If you know how to argue correctly you are never wrong".

Sunday April 23rd 2006
Worked......
Then I went to Garrett's BBQ and had some beers listened to his band play did some dancing. Good Food, Good Buddies, Good Tunes what could be better? And that is a quick what is up report from Tristan Pipo..


Today! I ordered the laptop HDD then I get the process of trying to install the damn thing. I also picked up a 300GB HDD For this new little project server computer I was donated and a new case for it. It's going to be Unbuntu Linux and a Media Server. Picked up a PCI TV Card so I can watch Movies from my computer on my TV and probably a bittorrent slave to the world. So do I see this as a step forward? Yes and No. Back to Podcasting I am really excited for. I miss my Microphone.

Also a New CoHost has made a silent bid to join me. The joy of a female voice will soon be gracing my website via MP3 LAME Codec and RSS to your iTunes or feedreader!

Post #663 - Great Picture

I love this picture. So funny.

Bullshit on Showtime

Now I will give credit of discovery of this show by the good man Jon I took the time to download the fist episode that caught my eye was the Feng Shui and Bottled Water. Now conculsion without reading this entire post. So here is a basic idea of Penn and Teller - Bullshit

I thought the cost to hire a consultant was $1500 a day but the average house costs $7000 to make "Fung Shui" but for this show they hired three consultants and each of them came up with something different. So how can it be a proved science if "professionals" each come up with something different. Like I know that C = pi*r^2 and will get the same answer but this was not the case with the "Feng Shui Science" so I tend to agree it's bullshit. But people seem to dig it for some reason.

Thanks Jon for this show.

The Bottled Water show was even greater. The bottled water you drink is controlled by FDA with less then 1 one person monitoring all the bottled water. The EPA that controls your tap water has 100's of people working on it. 75% people who took the test preferred New York Tap Water over bottled water. Then they take over a trendy california restaurant. They take water from garden hose out back and just put it in different bottles with differnt names. All the same water they all gave every customer. So they called bullshit on bottled water. I guess people believe anything. Also another fact Fleece Clothing is made out of recycled bottles.

So if you want to get in touch with reality a bit. I suggest getting Showtime or Bit Torrent and looking up Penn and Tellers Bullshit. I have a few shows that I enjoy now.

Happy Weekend Everyone and please do not bullshit yourselves.

P.S. It's good to be in Love.

Interview With Dave Winer

Well I was watching today's episode of Rocketboom April 20th 2006 and Amanda. Was having an interview with David Winer the inventor of RSS. One particular part of this interview caught my eye/ear. When I heard it.

Amanada: "What's your take on MySpace?"
Dave: "Temporary, Training Wheels, Those kids are going to want something much more sophisticated"
Amanda: "Training Wheels for Blogging?"
Dave: "Yeah"
Amanda: "You don't think myspace will always stick around to tbe the training wheels for the new people?"
Dave: "They won't need the training wheels."
Amanda: "They won't need them cause.."
Dave: "Are you kidding? Have you ever seen a three year old play with a computer? I haven't"
Amanda: "It can go around and."
Dave: "They more or less get it right away. They don't need the training wheels."

How long have I been saying this? These people that think mySpace is the greatest site ever. It works on some levels but for the advanced people that actually have a brain it doesn't serve the function for what I desire. It may be the only way to communicate with the 14-20somethings anymore. But I totally agree it's training wheels for what can really be accomplished.

But I find most people like to be in their little sheltered reality that is comfy. If you feel you are worthy enough MySpace.com/TristanPipo I hope you notice that the site doesn't crash your browser. There is no music unless you manually choose to play Super Mario Brothers Theme by the London Symphony Orchestra. It's very lacking in pictures. It is basically a site to say "Go to my Blog you MySpace People and if you don't suck listen to my Podcast"

MySpace is like training wheels for kids. I love it. Seems like all these kids are stuck in a bizarre time warp. My friend Nick called me as you can see from his latest comment on the myspace. Said he just signed up and got 5 dates. Can't say I would want to date anyone from MySpace again. But we shall see what comes down the pipe. Hitup the e-Mail Tristan.Pipo@gmail.com or leave a comment. No account required. =)

Wasting Time!

I found this game via Digg

Guess the Google

It gives you 20 images from a Image Search on Google and you have to guess the word used. My highest score is 170. It's a hard one at times. Like I had one for sunset but it was like bald guys heads and one picture of a sunset. Go Figure.

Comments

Well I have noticed these have been rather lacking but hits are still around the same. This is a bit odd and was trying to figure out what was up. I have been taking my writing style in a new direction expecting people to have thoughts on it but perhaps they do.

I was checking out Bloglines.com and saw that Junniper had updated and then I clicked over to Digg and saw this article.

Most Web Users are Silent Interesting article also pointed out that most user generated content comes from young males. I think young males are the more web savvy in the world and most of the blogs that I read are run by Men. I do like to read the female side of things just to see what is going on in their reality. But most tech blogs I read are gun by the guys. GameGirlAdvanced.com is a site run by a woman. Her most memorable article was talking about how there was this Playstation 2 game that came with a vibrating wand and she described it's uses for much hilarity and a few nice pictures for a few laughs. I can imagine her hits increased with an article like that.

I think it all depends on the blogger some go into great detail. Others are rather bland with posts like.

"I miss him, Will he ever call me?"

You read something like that and you start to think. Umm What the hell happened? What is the backstory? Does he read your site? Sometimes I will try to find an e-mail address to see if I can get my conquest for information to be complete. But I tend to get put into "Creepy Stalker Guy who Pays Attention to Detail" catergory.

I get told I have a great memory and it can be scary at times to some people. But it's like okay the information is there just takes 2 seconds to read when something was said in an e-mail. Or some things just stand out in your memory. I once heard a speaker that said "To be succesful you have to remember who got you where you are today" If someone walks up to you and says Hey and you have met them before and you remember their name and a little about them they are going to feel either pretty great that they were important enough to remember or creeped out by it. Sad in todays world that people are afraid of memory and knowledge.

On a side note it was a pretty odd weekend. Post abot that later.

Test Video of Hail from Cell Phone (Saturday)

144Kb Quicktime 3GP Captured from Motorola V360 April 15th 2006 16:25

Sprint Rant Time

Okay I started Sprint PCS on a Sanyo 8100 service March 14th 2004. I cancled my account March 14th 2006 when my contract was up. Ported my number over to T-Mobile. I get a lot of.

"T-Mobile Sucks!"
"Tristan is Gay" (Wait that has nothing to do with this)
"GSM can go to Hell. CDMA all the way"

So here are my reasons for making the switch. They had a phone that I wanted that would sync with iSync on my Powerbook. They have unlocked bluetooth. Cheaper Interweb and more minutes. So I currently have 1000 anytime mins, unlimited nights and weekends at 9pm ( I do miss the 7pm I had with sprint though), Internet, 400 Text Messages (I really do not like text messages but some people will only communicate this way. *cough * Tara *cough*. Your lucky I like you and text messages are 10cents coming or going and It was $4.99 for 400 so heck of a deal). For roughly $40 cheaper then my $78-83 Sprint Monthly Bill.

Wanted to save money and sync with my laptop were the primary reason. Plus I haven't gotten any shit from T-Mobile they have been awesome as hell to deal with. Plus there is a hot chick who works at the store and she answered all my questions even the ones I ask to test people like voltage on USB and Bluetooth communication. For knowing that she is forever a hot geeky chick.

So I paid off my sprint bill in Feb. I wanted to cancel before my next bill so they set that up. I was an idiot and used 411 right before the close and had to pay like $6 for that call because of taxes and crap for 411.

So it's been a month my loyal 8100 sits hooked up to the charger just doing nothing all day long. I still need to move some #'s over just laziness and a dead laptop have stopped me.

So I wake up and check my new e-mail and I have a bill from sprint for $6.05 due by May 10th 2006. WTF I haven't been able to do anything with that phone since March 14th 2006. So I called up Sprint this morning and they wanted my Sprint PCS phone # so I typed in my old # and they said it wasn't in the system. So I couldn't talk to anyone unless I have a sprint #. So I went the activiation route and had them transfer me to billing. I was a little irate and was fully prepared to rip someone a new one.

So I call up and get what sounds like a pissed off black woman who hates her job but is faking to be pleasant. Last time i got a nice dude named Jeff from New Mexico. He took care of everything and was willing to do everything to get me to stay. But I was the typical Taurus and wanted laptop sync which none of the Sprint Phones offered.

So here is how the conversation went.

Woman: "Hello, How can I help you?"
Me: "Hi I closed my account with you guys in March and I am still getting a bill for $6.05 every month. I would like to find out why and get it taken care of"
W: "Well Sir, Our system is currently down and I cannot help you with that"
M: (slight pause) "Well how long our your systems down?"
W: "A few hours sir"
M: "Well then why even answer the phone?"
W: "I was told to answer the phones"
M: "You mut really love your job if your going to take crap like this all day long"
W: "Thank you for calling sprint and always you can blah blah your bill at blah"

Now I have to think is doing all this bickering worth $6.05 to me? Not so much but it's the principal of the thing. I have to call JVC over a matter of $43.26 for a repair that wasn't covered by my warranty because it was conisdered maintiance. That really sets me off. Company's are out there trying to fuck us $6-$43 at a time. That adds up after a while from people who just pay and forget about the problem.

Well I am going to stand up and stomp out the opression. I think most places you can walk into will do anything to shut you up if you are truly pissed off. Just to get you out of the store so you are not going to tarnish your image.

I have had one run in with t-mobile and they resolved the issue of $2.20 after about 4 mins of talking to sexy geeky chick.

Now that I wrote this. I don't really feel like anything is accomplished. Maybe a funny tale. Though most angry people can be funny and it drives them crazy. Like has your boyfriend or girlfriend over been so pissed off about something and then they do something stupid out of anger and it's just funny. Even though when you are the one who is pissed off it totally sucks. But couple days later you should laugh about it. Life isn't so bad that you should get so angry over nothing.

I was pissed off one day from a situation and then was out playing with the garden hose in the yard when I was like 13 and my stepdad crawled up on the roof and drenched me with a bucket of water. It was like icing on the cake of anger back then. But now we all laugh about it.

You have to be strong enough to just sit back and realize that 10 minutes from now you can't change what happened. You just have to move on with life. Laugh about it.

"He who laughs last, laughs best" -Quote

E-Mail

Okay to all the users who have an e-mail account ending with

@siriusdude.com
@xmdude.com

Your e-mail will stay the same as far as I know for how that works. I have no way to test this so if you still use those extensions well I hope you fair well.

To all the users who have

@tristanpipo.com

We have a new system to check your e-mail. Now all your POP3 and IMAP systems will not be working and you will have to update those manually by activating POP3 per account yourself. If you need your account updated please send me an e-mail tristan@tristanpipo.com

Instead of using the old URL to check your e-mail via web which was
http://www.tristanpipo.com/squirrelmail which you will still be able to login to. But you will not get any mail to that spot anymore.

The new link to check your e-mail is https://www.google.com/hosted/tristanpipo.com the reason for this change is that I am moving all the e-mail to use the gMail for your domain.

You will have all the functions of gMail. Search, Google Talk, Spam Filtering, Labels, Filters, Forwarding. But you can have multiple aliases assigned to your account name. So I took the liberty of adding some to Tristan@TristanPipo.com for those who spell things wrong and so forth.

So just thought I would let all 14 of you with e-mail accounts with me know of the update and make sure you pass the change along so you are not yelling at me for your e-mail not coming through.

I must say that BuggyboyWA@xmdude.com gets more spam then any account I have ever seen. But that was a dude from the past. Anyways rock on.

Also my e-mail of tristan@tristanpipo.com will be down for 24-48hrs so please use Tristan.Pipo@Gmail.com if you need to send me anything. Lots of Love to the Blogging Nation.

TV

Now as the loyal readers and listeners may know. I really despise TV we see just a slew of crap on our TV's everything is a reality show or come back special or the same shows from the past but redone in modern times. The last TV show that I really enjoyed and would make an effort to watch was 3rd Rock from the Sun.

Some TV shows that I enjoy are Red Dwarf, Seinfeld, The Simpsons, Six Feet Under, Sex and the City but my favorite will always be the Sopranos.

They are back again doing Season 6 and so far I have been hooked like a crack addict trying to get my last fix. I have to credit my addiction to the one and only Darin Barnes.

But so far Season 6 has just been amazing the first episode with everything that had happened was just beyond amazing. Show #2 of Season 6 was interesting after the first one I wondered well what is going to happen now. I missed show #3 and can't seem to find it on OnDemand or BitTorrent but Episodes #4 and #5 are just like holy shit.

I would love to go into details but who knows will read this and be like dude now what am I going to do I already know what happens. But you can tell finally somebody in Hollywood is actually making an effort to create a TV show that just isn't a bunch of low grade morons singing or trying to survive or swapping wives or whatever current TV executive out there takes a dump and smears it onto film and says boom here is our next hit. The morons of America just eat it up like it's the greatest thing ever and people talk and talk about it.

The only time I ever watched reality TV is when I had a girlfriend. It was all about Survivor and American Idol. Personally I never really cared for these shows. She did make me watch Sex in the City and it was a nice relief from reality to see a bunch of Woman in New York going about their lives and having sex and seeing boobs and hearing the word "Fuck" on television was a nice break. All this FCC regulated crap I mean come on when did a naked human body become something that is wrong?

You come into this world naked you are naked under your clothes what is wrong with showing that on TV? Is some kid going to be scarred for life because he saw a breast or a penis or a vagina?

On the David Letterman show in November of 2004 he mentioned that 97% of the complaints to the FCC are from Religous groups that are headed up by woman. What happened to America? You don't have to censor this stuff on most European TV channels.

In case most people didn't know most things in technology and life are driven by sex. In some way or another. The big debate right now that has been a hot topic in technology related to sex is Blu-Ray vs HD-DVD and which format are Porn Studios going to put out in. You see Sexual stuff on TV I saw a commercial of a girl taking off her clothes in an elevator and then getting into a car. I believe it was Mazda but if they were to show a breast it would be totally wrong.

But I was watching Episode 5 of Season 6 of the Soprano's tonight and they were in a strip club and it had no effect on me. I didn't view it as anything negative or erotic it was just there. It was life, not that I have ever been to a strip club but you know what it fit in the scene and did well. But you couldn't get away with anything like that on regular TV.

HBO is how TV should be not locked down and bleeped and blurred and edited and cut. It should be how the director wants to present his vision of the story. But do people write TV anymore? For the most part no. They just interview a bunch of people and see who would fit their vision of low grade idiots to do various tasks so they can sell coca cola and cell phones to the idiots of america.

Do yourself and the world a favor turn off the TV and read a book or a magazine and not a gossip magazine something that you might have an interest in. I like Wired, MacAddict, Maximum PC, Men's Health are my favorites. But I also like the Wall Street Journal and The Seattle Times so much life out there is being wasted by Reality TV. I don't understand it.

But then again TV was not meant to appeal to a 22 year old male. A show that does is a rare deal.

If you read all that and thought blah just take. Soprano's is Good. Rest of TV sucks. Read something.

Post Number 644 - Update of Events

Well lets kick off this blog with a little weekend update.

Friday - That day can just go to pure hell. Fixed Deanna's computer and planned to go see Ice Age with Ollie, Nick and Katie. But that just fell through so I went home and went to bed. They say never go to bed angry but screw it.

Saturday - Got up 6am hit the gym wasn't so pissed off after that. Came home had a shower then went over to the KGB Mafia Man's house and had one of thoes good talks about life we frequently have. Then Ollie called me worked out the issue that I had and got to thinking It's Nick's Birthday. So we went out for some food where the China people serve it. I brought him a cake which seemed to be the highlight of the meal. I think everyone deserves a cake for their birthday. Then we went over to the G-Mans Parents house and Nick and his band played till 10pm and then we went to G-Man ans his girlfriends house. And had some drinks and were sitting around the living room singing songs. I got a little irate after singing wonderwall and glycerian(Spelling?) 10+ times. But it was a good time and me and Ollie stumbled the three blocks back to his house and crashed.

Sunday - Having never had a hangover in my life I figured maybe sunday would be my day. But again I was lucky enough to not have one. I guess Tequila and Vodka are my friends. But I am told I did eat a whole lime straight (laugh). Chris called me for an early wake up call and we did our semi weekly breakfast. I had Pancakes and Bacon. We always go to this one place and ask for the same waitress cause she is cool and we can flip her shit and she flips it right back. Something about a waitress coming over to you and saying "That customer in the other room is a total fucking prick" just makes me laugh. Then went and checked out Chris's new place and then I went over to Ollies and we went to Verizon and took care of some business for him. Personally I am not a fan of Verizon but some people swear by them. You can always tell when someone has Verizon when you call them and you get to hear music while their phone rings. It's an experience like being on hold but the music is usually just as lame. And the limited bandwidth of a phone line doesn't do music and justice. But I guess it's better then hearing another Larry the Cable Guy or Ron White annoyance. Personally I like to know that the phone is ringing. But I guess it's like the myspace thing if it is annoying it's popular with the masses. I am not fond of text messaging but seems like most people are just turned off by phone calls now days. Personally I like phone calls and I prefer e-mail to text messaging. Instant Messages are a different experience I am not really sure about this technology.

I can't stand myspace messages. Because I login to gMail and see "Myspace Message" so I have to go login to myspace. Rather login into gMail and just do my business there. But maybe that's just me and I'm a different breed of cat. But I digress (Side Note. I find it funny that on Junniper's Blog she started to use that word =p)

So after that I bought a CD The All-American Rejects - Come Along I must say great album I saw that Come Along music video on TV one morning got addicted. It's slowly making it's way up the playlist on the Top 25 on the iPod.

Here is the music video link for those who want to be shocked and amazed by an audio extacsy of awesome.
The All-American Rejects - Move Along Picked up the CD at Best Buy for $9.99 same as iTunes music store so figured it was a good trade off.

Monday - Today a girl told me I would have a much different outlook if I had a girlfriend. Got me thinking about it so I was talking to Ashley from FL. I like talking to her she can hold her own with me. Something about English Majors. Said she agreed with that comment. Maybe I do need a girlfriend get rid of all this tension. Speaking of that June 9th is the date for the Alfred Hitchcock Symphony.

Also I got invited to a scrabble tournament in Green Lake from some girl. Looks like 11 of us would be taking part in this. I have class Wednesday night the day of the event so hopefully it's a short short class.

GroupHug.us

I find myself reading Grouphug.us sometimes and getting a laugh most of the time from what people confess. Some are rather messed up but as my recent experiences with the internet seems like most people are that way. There are exceptions but when you are speaking to a global audience you have to generalize.

But one guys confession I found interesting any myself agreeing with except for the first line. It can be found here

http://grouphug.us/confession/973709981


I hate women.

In highschool girls like you would break up with me because I was "too nice". Then you'd go and lose your virginity to some jerk and come back crying to me.

In college girls like you break up with me because I spent too much time studying or I'm "boring". You'd go out and party with the fools that are now the peons pouring my coffees.

Now that I'm strong, educated and successful you come back to my crying. "I should have been with a nice guy like you from the start". You want to marry me and have babies with me.

Ten years from now you will have me working myself to a early grave so I can pay for your overpriced, tacky house and clothes and spoiled children. Just so you can start fucking around on me because I'm not there for you.

I'm sick of hearing all these guys whining about women like I did back then. Suck it up, be a man. These painted up, emotional, clucking, irrelevant, frivolous and foolish girls are making us die slow painful meaningless lives.

I really hope I don't end up like that in 10 years. But the high school thing and the college bits of life really seem to apply to life at this moment.

I have made a few confessions on that site I think my total is 3 that made it "live" But I get some satisfaction in knowing that I am glad my life is not as bad as many others out there. I wonder when the $100 laptops come around to the 3rd World what will end up on that site. Or if they will not visit because .us is blocked.

Writing a Blog TIme

Well I thought it was time to do something non technical. I was going about the archives trying to find a post I had written about an upcoming movie. Well this movie has been announced for a while now. It's called Phat GIrlz starring Monique I believe her name is.

I was going to put this into a podcast but I thought I would post the audio clips that I was going to use in the show. Because without my laptop my editing situation is currently limited.

Audio Commentary from PCH

Now what Mark Yoshi Whatever from the Pacific Coast Hellways is speaking of is the movie Phat Girlz. But one topic in particular really strikes me. This is about how a Fat Woman tends to have a large support group. (Excuse the Pun) To tell them they are beautiful and support them so that they feel beautiful and all this other bull shit. But men do not have this sort of group or support from people. If a guy is fat he knows he is fat and isn't put into an illusional world that they are attractive.

Me personally I hated myself so I bust my ass going to the gym 4-5 days a week and eating healthy and so far the pay off has been great. Mostly with confidence and so forth that I didn't need anybody else to do so. Though I do enjoy getting the compliment but I don't need it.

But I will admit that I do like a girl with a little meat on her. But not to much I think there is a healthy medium. But the girl in this film is what I would say is just way out of my league. I like to hug a girl and not hug myself. Though I also tend to like a taller girl so I don't have to pick her up to get a decent hug. But I digress.

Some woman pull of big but most do not. Though I find that most big woman have an issue with the world they seem bitter and want to go around saying that Big is beautiful. But most healthy woman never really seem to make an issue out of the deal.

It has been shown that Fat Woman do make less then a fat guy. But most fat woman I know tend to be rather lazy and want things done for them so I am not going to disagree with the study.

Dalton Conley, director of NYU's Center for Advanced Social Science Research, and NYU graduate student Rebecca Glauber found that a 1 percent increase in a woman's body mass index -- a measure of weight relative to height -- pushes family income down by about 0.6 percent.

It goes on further to say.

"Body mass does not reduce [men's] economic status outcomes, it does not reduce their likelihood of marriage, and it does not increase their likelihood of divorce, separation, or widowhood," the researchers wrote.

"Women who are heavier for their height tend to have lower chances of getting married in the first place. If they do get married they tend to marry spouses who have less earning power and they also have a higher likelihood of getting divorced...."

What pisses me off about the woman that marry into the lower bracket are that they want to have kids. Which usually tends to bring around another set of headaches and problems and ideas and things that piss me off that I will save for a later commentary.

I do find myself dating lots of different types of women. But they never seem to have that apark I want. Most of my friends tell me everytime they talk to me I am mentioning some new girl they have never heard of. But as I talked about in a Podcast I do think I date a lot of women just because I am lonely and I come off as desperate to not be alone and that is a huge turn off to most women. If it isn't it would seem that it gives them all the playing cards and they get bored quickly and things fizzle out.

Which as I work on the 1 Degree of Seperation to get rid of that I made an observation today while at the store. This random guy buying Chips and Beer and some other BBQ/Party type goods saw a ring on the cashiers finger. Asked if she was married she said No and then he said something like "Well You should let me take you out on a date sometime" Just like knowing her for less then two seconds. I thought it was rather a risky move but you know what he had the fucking balls to do that. He got turned down and moved on with life. As Tom Cruise said in Risky Business sometimes you just have to say "What the Fuck" So I thoguht to myself "What the Fuck" Who gives a shit if I get turned down on a date there are 6.X billion people on the planet. Plenty of other women to accept me or turn me down. No reason in the world to worry if you lose 1 or 5 or even 10.

Everybody is a person if you are not willing to accept someone else it's a mutual loss because everyone has something to offer everyone. The key is just finding out what you have to offer and get it out there.

Like most would say that I am Smart, Funny, Witty, Sweet, Charming, etc. Great qualities but when it comes to getting a date I am a god damn fucking pussy. As the KGB Mafia Man and me discuss frequently 1 Degree of Seperation you are the only one who is powerful enough to make a change in your life. You will never change because someone tells you that you should. You have to want to. When you get into a relationship people tend to think you can change a man or change a woman. You want the guy to clean the house. He won't unless he wants to or to appease the woman for 15 mins so he can get what he wants. The man can't make a woman to cook. You have to be in a relationship because you like that person for who they are.

When you get into a relationship or the future of what comes down the road if you are to damn stupid to open up your eyes and ears and realize what you are getting then breaking up is going to happen and you should only be pissed at yourself because you choose to look the other way when it came down to something that bothered you.

I will bring one example that happened in the past from myself. My exgirlfriend made this cheesecake one time. It was horrible and gross. But I wanted to make her smile so I could get some action and happy girlfriend = happy boyfriend. So I told her it was great and delicious. When in reality it was horrible and I have seen things that I would presume taste better after sitting in a maggot filled garbage for weeks. But she made it and I would eat it or find ways to give it to the dog or whatever. But by not saying anything and not realizing what I was doing I set myself up for a failure but disappointing her when the truth came out months later.

Since then I have been rather straight up and honest about everything. People say I am rude at times or negative. But I am not setting myself up for something bad in the future. But there are times when the time to lie is necessary. As the cliche line that a woman presents "Do I look fat in this" I would prefer to say "Who really cares I am with you that's all that matters. If you did I would invite you to the gym with me and we can solve this problem together" but us male species tend to say "No you look beautiful" Just so a smile ends up on your face. But as the chain letter e-mail also says. If you have to ask you already know the answer.

I started off this blog with the idea of bringing up how terrible the idea of the movie Phat Girlz Is. But went off on a weird tangent.

Oh Well.

Blog Post End.

Album Cover

God is a Girl LP (iTunes Required)

This was just great in so many ways.

RSS Update

Well for some reason when I moved everything over to the new blog it changed all my feed details. So now that has been fixed and those who subscribe to the feedburer e-mail updates and your feed readers that has all been updated for your pleasure.

Sorry this one slipped by me for over a week.

Interesting Searchs Today

Well these are really yesterday.

myspace blocked by netgear filter?
Well I do like a good myspace blocking. Someone was blocked wants to get around it. Damn kids. Love the smart parents

what happened to kacey
Good Question ;-)

tristan bourne
Hmmmmm. Matt Damons son in the next movie?

"size 16 feet" wrestling
LOL now this was funny. I really don't get why this search hit my site. But cool

safary file conver to html
What the hell is that? lol

Tech Rant of the Day

Well today I was accepted into the gMail for your domain program. Which basically will let me use the gMail interface to manage my e-mail for the address's that I currently have setup @tristanpipo.com. Currently I offer this service to 5 people. If you would like an e-mail address I got a few to pass out. Maybe one day a lucky girl will get mygirlfriend@tristanpipo.com mwa ha ha. (Imagines someone in reality bursting my bubble).

Anyways I use GoDaddy.com to manage my domains. I must say that I have a bone to pick with this service. They will not let you manually configure a DNS server unless you use their company for their webservices. I currently manage my webserver what would be called off site. Now for those who have no clue what I am talking about. DNS stands for Domain Name Service and this has many different types of services.

There is an (A) record for address record which takes a name for example tristanpipo.com and points it to the IP address 67.15.58.188.

There is a CNAME Record which stands for Canonical Name which basically allows a machine to be known by more then one host name. Like XmDude.com and SiriusDude.com are CNAME's of TristanPipo.com my main domain name.

But the one I am really wanting to focus on are (MX) Records which stand for mail exchange which is how the internet knows who is where and what user belongs to what e-mail service and so forth. So when you send an e-mail to Tristan@TristanPipo.com all these DNS servers that are connected to each other know where to send the mail based on the DNS information that is stored on every DNS nameserver in the world. And the MX Record tells it how to reach the e-mail server.

Now GoDaddy in all it's wise wisdom does not let you change this at all. Unless you park your domain with them. I use GoDaddy to register the name so that I claim the rights to those domain names. I also own another name but I like Mike take care of that. I just foot the bill. ;-)

But since I have the opportunity to test this awesome way to manage mail. I love gMail with the labels and the filters. I currently have over 30 filters setup for my gMail account since on average it gets about 40-60 e-mails a day that I have to read. If I can use Google Mail for my Domain and import all those filters my life would be so much easier and having web access for that service is so freaking awesome.

But GoDaddy again has found a way to fuck this cool idea over. Now I search for a new company to transfer my domains to. I sent off an e-mail to my webservers tech support to see what they can offer me. But until then I can't wait to try you gMail for my domain.

On a side note I have been working on a new blog series. I should have episode 1 done in a few days. Also it's April. Birthday is next month. Time to come up with what I want. It's good to be selfish once and a while.

Google and Love and Other 4/1

http://www.google.com/romance/

I knew Google had something going on. So far no luck on my search.

USB Tanning Solution

For the ultimate Fake and Bake. That can't get enough radiation from the computer monitor. I want to know how the 5V or 3.3V from USB can power that much.

slashdot.org
They went Pink Style just to see if they can get some girls to read. I feel them on that issue. I went with a Pink Setup for the Test site. So far female visitors on my site hangs between 5 and -2

If you have Google Earth Go check out area 51 today.
Unexpected Visitors on Google Earth

But if you want all the April fools Jokes so far this year. Wikipedia is your best bet.

April Fools Jokes 2006

May you play a prank on someone today. And hope that the world still has a sense of humor to laugh about it.

Also you may not know this and you probably don't care. But it's the 30th Anniversary of Apple Today. 2014 we get the 30th Anniversary of the Macintosh. I still remember my first computer. The Apple IIe that thing was an amazing tool. I remember we got the Apple IIgs a few years later probably when I was 7 or so and I messed it up beyond all hell by doing the BIOS settings. Between when I was 5 and 7 I knew that I was going to be working on computers the rest of my life.

Now I just need a new HDD. Looks like $175 for 100GB 7200 RPM Laptop drive. Happy Pranking.